My Car Accident

Okay so Tonight i went grocery shopping and as i was driving home i took a road i never usually take, Ballard road in Saugus. Well it was snowing out pretty bad and the roads were really slippery. I ended up crashing into a telephone pole. It was unbelievably scary. There was nothing i could do, i could not regain control of the car. I just turned a corner and then my tires slipped and CRASH! into the pole. The air bags went off and smacked my hand into the door. The car got really smokey and the  first thing i thought to do was take my seat belt off and jump out. I was screaming and crying. Thank god a man stopped and pulled over to help me. When he asked if i was okay that is when i noticed that my hand was in extreme pain! That man who helped me that night was a saint! He let me go sit in his car while he called 911 and turned off my car and everything else. Then a woman pulled over and she got my purse and my phone and called my dad. It was a very scary night! I ended up in the hospital and my wrist ended up just being sprained and i had no other injuries. John actually left work to be there for me! I couldn't believe it! Amazing man!!!! :)

The Cancer is back, and it's moved in forever

So i am on Martha's Vineyard with John. We just had an amazing day and just when we are walking into the hotel room, i get a hysterical phone call from Maeg. Ricky's Cancer is back. I immediately break down crying and John grabs me and holds me.

A few days after July 4th. My cousin Jill realized that her dad was acting funny again. His balance was off and words were bit mumbled. She suspected the cancer was back. Unfortunately, she was right.

My Uncle Ricky has had cancer on and off since he was 27. It was always Lymph node cancer and It was always in a different spot when it was found. Which i guess is unusual for cancer. Usually it attacks the same place. My family and i had to deal with this news every couple of years. But i wasn't aware it was happening until my late teen years. Everyone did a good job hiding it. Well Unfortunately about a year ago, they found a brain tumor. News that they wouldn't be able to hide from us. and needless to say, very devastating news. When talking to Jill about it, just looking in her eyes you could tell she felt helpless. Her father is being attacked and there was nothing anyone could do about it. So of course he went to the doctors. They did some treatment but then made the choice to go in his brain and removed the cancer. This was very scary. It is a dangerous procedure and one that can mostly likely only be done once. There is also a huge chance that it will always come back its just a matter of when.

And now, he has it again. He is going to get treatment and do everything he can to be healthy. I honestly don't even know what to think.

He is a very strong man and i know he can get past this. My aunt Debbie and him are always healthy people. They go for runs and walks on Hampton beach, they take Jill and Will's dogs with them sometimes, they eat pretty healthy.

Emotional hits

Let's just say this post cannot be too detailed because what has happened  is to personal to say. It is so personal it may not be best to broad cast. My brother has had an emotional hit. It's leaving us all to wonder why this is all happening. Where is god and why isn't he watching our hour glass to tip it back over when the sand runs out? Because this is what it feels like, the sand is slipping our fingers and no matter how hard we try to keep it in our hands, there are too many cracks for it to slip through. Please god can you just rest the hour glass on its side for now? I'd really appreciate it.

Dating for three weeks and ....

So i have been dating John for only a weeks and well, John's dad passed away. I can't even begin to explain how i feel. How he must feel, his whole family. I don't know what to do.

January 21st 2010

We were in IHOP, the waitress was seating us at our table when he got a call, he immediately turned around and we left, we didn't even explain to the lady why we were leaving. I had no idea what was happening. He gets off the phone and tells me that his father is really sick and was in the hospital. I was shocked i didn't know what to say. We rushed home to his house, he was headed for the hospital, I asked if he wanted me to come and he said no. I totally understood but i also wanted to be there for him. So he left in a rush and i was left in his apartment not knowing what to do. Not soon after Kindercare called me and asked if i wanted to work.I said yes since i didn't know what else to do. I was working with Laura in the Toddler room and i told her what was going on and that i needed my phone on. She was fine with it. A little after 1:00pm. I got a very upsetting phone call from John. His father had passed away. Tears came to my eyes. I went to my boss Kelley and told her and she told me to leave and go do what i have to do and that i would have whatever days off that i needed. I love her. I left and went straight to john's.

For that entire week i sat with him and his family listening to stories and coping with what had happened. I will never forget being there for him.

I met his dad once. We went over his house in Medford to get John's Plow. He came out to talk and help John. I will never forget that they both had their scally caps on. They looked so cute together. I sat in the car. He came over to me and said hi and we introduced ourselves. He invited us in for dinner but john said no we were all set. I really wish we did now. I wish i pushed and said ya let's go. But we were new and we had plans and there is no way we could have known. I won't ever forget this night and what they were because i remember going home to my mother and father and telling them all about his dad and how cute they were together trying to put the plow on and that it just melted my heart.

I may only have one memory but i'm so grateful that i have that! I am grateful that i got to be there for John and his family. I went to every service and my parents and cousin Maeg and her boyfriend Josh came too.
I really care about him and i wish there was something i could do.